What I Learned From Gomer Pyle - The Art Of Being Grateful
November 23rd, 2021 by admin
Most every television market in the South provides a steady stream of the old black and white Andy Griffith shows. Part of this is regional pride and the sheer entertainment of them, but deep at the heart of them is a series of enduring value stories as well. Which include honesty, kindness, sensitivity to the sometimes-wobbly self-esteem of others, and a keen eye toward finding a proper pace and rhythm in life.
Gomer Pyle was one of the show’s most fabled supporting characters. Gomer often failed to see some things as clearly as he should. But we all could take a lesson from Gomer Pyle on some values that he saw more clearly than the rest of us. Underscoring one of life’s often hidden misdirections: Sometimes the clear sight line on the things that matter most comes from those ostensibly non-movers and shakers, whose vision is unobstructed by life’s trappings. This is why it is a good reason to listen to a lot of different kinds of people. They often turn out to know a lot more than you do. (I have some experience in this.)
In one often-run episode, Andy rescues Gomer from a potentially life-threatening circumstance. Gomer, in his innocent fashion, overreacts. He is so grateful for what Andy did for him he cannot do enough for Andy. Gomer becomes driven by his gratitude.
In his typically thoughtful way, Andy comes upon a plan. He stages a friendly contrivance which allows Gomer to save his life, and even the score. And he saves any hurt feelings with Gomer along the way.
GRATITUDE. We all could use a healthy dose of Gomer Pyle’s unwavering sense of gratitude. Psychologists tell us it can be a powerful positive influence in our lives. It balances us. It makes us more humble and it helps us tack back to one of life’s core truths: we are all in this together. We all stand on the shoulders of others who came before us, we are children of a kind Maker, and we are where we are in part because of what others do. And sometimes by chance’s lucky nod, which just as easily could have gone the other way.
While Gomer has no problems displaying his gratitude, you and I do. Psychologists call it Hedonic Adaptation. We secure new objects of success in our lives, but no matter how great they are, their value to us diminishes rapidly. They quickly become the norm. Whatever it is, it has a lot of driving-off-the-lot depreciation.
Sustained hardships help us with our gratitude. Growing up poor, finding a loving relationship after you grew up in a family in turmoil, or other defining struggle, can help us keep gratitude fresh. But most of us have had things so good for so long that these healthy contrasts are long past us. And we pay a price for it. “Luxury is more deadly than any foe,” said Juvenal.
My 83-year-old stepmother grew up in the country in the Depression, and she got to take a real bath once a week as a child. The rest of the days she and her sisters used a washcloth, and she took what she affectionately calls a “country bath.”
She still works every day. She showers in the morning, and she takes a shower every evening when she gets home from work.
A bright and educated woman, she says simply, and profoundly: hot water is a wonderful gift. When she takes that afternoon shower, she always tries to remember what it was like not to have it. It has helped to sustain her sense of gratitude all these years.
“GRATITUDE IS THE MEMORY OF THE HEART,” said J.B. Massieu. And so it is with her.
It is hardly a coincidence that she has the most remarkable, positive, content attitude of anyone I have ever known. Her life is uncluttered by the usual trappings which snare you and me. This pure attitude of gratitude is at the core of her.
Someone once wrote of an Auschwitz survivor, whose philanthropy and kindness helped so many: “His life was rooted in gratitude. He was generous because the memory of having nothing was never far from his mind.”
What I’ve learned about life on the way to the courthouse is this: It is a good thing to have a strong self-concept, and to be proud of what you have accomplished, but you should also be mindful that most of us have been dealt a wonderful hand in life. And regular reflection on that not only adds to life’s enjoyment, but it also gives you one of life’s greatest trump cards: a humble sense of gratitude. Sometimes sweetly measured out one hot shower at a time.
How grateful we all should be.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Mike Wells
Posted in: On the Way to the Courthouse